Weekly update, nothing, but yet something

Shit. All my ideas for the things ive done this week, i now see were all done last week and i already wrote about them. Apparently 2 sessions of Brain Age hasnt improved my memory :P
This sucks, the weeks are going by quicker and quicker and honestly I dont know what I do each day. It just disappears. I hate it when it gets like this, where i wake up, im tired all day, so everything takes twice as long. i exercise, make breakfast, take my meds, and read my email, and by then its already 11 or 12. Then I try to do my 1o minutes of cleanup, but from the looks of the house its not working lol. 10 minutes will be good for maintenance, to actually get shit cleaned up its gotta be at least 30 mins.
Then its time to make lunch. THat usually takes an hour, I make and eat, play an hour of video games, and then go to work.

A whole big pile of nothing.
I excuse myself because ive been mildly sick lately (suprised it took this long to kick in - normally the whole winter im slightly sick and exhausted) but really its no excuse. Its ok to take things easy, but i should still be doing something worthwhile and memorable every day.

I have been doing well with exercising (missed 1 day so far). Still need to up it tho to like an hour, but im still at the point where a half hour feels like a ton. I mean, i used to do no exercise, occassionaly forcing myself to do 10 minutes of aerobics, maybe twice a week. During the summer I counted being on the land as my exercise, and sure some days were, but most werent really exercise.

Ive been spending too much money also. On alot of small things that add up.
But they are cool things which I think will be worth it in the end.
A subscription to the local paper. Ive wanted it for some time, and its not THAT bad, $30 a year. Worth it to stay in touch with whats goin on in the area.
I got microphones and a DDR mat for the ps2. This lets us play (ripped) karaoke games for party games (instead of paying $200 for rock band), and the DDR Mat will be a fun way to exercise. eventually I might get another mat so we have 2 and can battle. They are only like $10 on ebay. Same with the mics.
I also got a set of Devil sticks. My mom probably threw out my set from when I was a kid, after I ran away she threw out most of my stuff. I suck at it, but its fun, and a cool thing to have around the house to entertain.
And, I got a CycloDS which basically lets you put ROMs onto a disc and then load them onto your DS. In other words, you can play hundreds of games free without having to change game cartridges. Also has cool options like cheat codes, Real Time save, skins, and more.
It wasnt cheap, about $60, but that right there is 2 bought games. Ive already put about 10 games on it, so its already paid for itself. My microSD memory card is only 1 GB, which I thought would be plenty, but its not. Not for someone like me who obsessively collects things (I want just about every quality DS game ever made on there). So theres another thing I bought - an 8gb microSD card.
And then I realized that to play Game Boy Advance games, you need another tool, called the EZ Flash 3-in-1. So I bought that too, but that one was about $20.
And, I bought chinese, which was $30, of course. Its too hard to just order one thing lol. Fortunately it should feed me for at least 3 days, so its not TOO bad of a deal.

The new burrito place in Alamosa - the Fresh Tortilla Company, is pretty good. Its alot like Qdoba, they make your burrito with fresh ingredients right in front of you. I had a couple suggestions which Im going to send to them, like .. the rice is overcooked.. they need to make it in smaller batches so that it doesnt overcook waiting for customers while staying warm. That way it wont ever be undercooked either, they just have to make it twice as often. Also, add lime to it. Lime-cilantro rice is the shiznit.
They make their own fresh flour tortillas in plain and jalapeno-cheddar. They are quite good, the jalapeno cheddar you can actually taste the flavors unlike the ones you buy in the grocery store. But they need corn tortillas too. A tortilla factory just aint completely without fresh corn tortillas.
Also, would be great to have some more veggies. Fajita style veggies would be good, peppers and onions.
Otherwise tho, its quite good and healthy (from what I can determine, its about 600 calories for a burrito, and about $7.00) Not bad, just make sure to skip the churros despite their deliciousness and get water instead of soda or, if you must treat yourself, go for the small soda size and eat in. Eat inners get free soda refills, so paying for the smaller size is worth it since you can refill it. Also it will help budget how much soda your drinking.
No more sonic. My favorite drink in the world, the strawberry limeade, has about 800 calories for a medium size! Almost half of my entire days calories!!! Delicious, but not worth it. If im dying for one, Ill have the kiddie size.

Im getting into home made bread making. I can control how much white flour goes into it, also how much salt (most people dont realize it but we all get waaay too much sodium in our diets, and its terrible for your heart and blood pressure). Plus theeres something really wholesome and nostalgic about home made bread in a country kitchen. Not that I ever had that in my childhood, but nostalgic in cultural memory. Id ideally like to eat super simply, which in a way would also be healthy .. even tho Id be eating good amounts of bread, I just feel like it sbetter for me if I make it myself. Bread- (preferably rye with olive oil, italian spices, and mushrooms (dired and soaked) - my dad sent me that for christmas, I was doubtful of the mushrooms but to my suprise it was fantastic and im hooked), and salad, and soup. It would be alot cheaper to eat that way, and for some reason I think that eating really simply, eating pretty much the same thing each day, would help me loose weight.

I dunno, but I have lost about 2 lbs since I started the super awesome weight loss deal with my folks. (course, hard to tell right now, since its that time of the month and im retaining water) but.. wow this is so sweet, im so lucky.. basically, $20 per lb I loose, but I cant collect until Ive lost at least 20 lbs. Therefore, every 20 lbs I loose, which should take 2-3 months, I get $400. When I get to my goal weight of 150-160, I get a bonus $1000. If I keep it off for a year, I get another $500, and for a 2nd year, another $500. Its alot I know, but it has to be to really motivate me. I thought about doing it forhalf that amount, but to be honest it wouldnt really be enough to work up the hardcore motivation i need. Still its not really enough. Which is really sad, saying something about how poor my willpower is. If it was like $20, 000, that would be enough to get me REALLY going lol. But hey, I want to loose the weight anyways, I just need an external source to help motivate me to do everything im doing right, and kick it up a notch. I feel like im at my max, but I know Im not, thats why a reward is important.
At this point tho, finding time to exercise that much .. I dunno how im going to do it. I do nothing and yet have no time.

Oh. That reminded me of somehting I did. Lol.
I went to a Solar Power Panel yesterday in Alamosa. There were a bunch of people talking about how the SLV is looking to be developed for solar power in the coming years. basically the grid needs to be rebuilt as a smart grid first, and then the building of solar plants. One of the solar technologies uses water, which concerns everyone due to our water issues, and the other is just plain solar panels. The only better thing about the water method is that its easier to store the energy. Thats a big drawback of solar right now, on a commercial level, is the lack of adequate storage technology. Homeowners use batteries, which in itself is not a great technology, it requires regular maintenance and is expensive and you need alot of them. The SLV is the prime spot for international solar developers.. theres about 5 spots in the US that would be good, but ours is the best because of lots of open land without buildings or obstructions, rural area, high altitude, and 300+ days of sun a year.
I was amazed to see a map showing how much land area is needed to supply coal plants .. both the plants themselves and also mining for coal, it took up a good 1/3 of our country. While a solar plant .. One 60 square mile plant could supply the entire US!!!
It all makes me feel less guilty about bring electricity to our property. We want to be on full solar eventually but that may take a few years, top priority is to get the house built first lol.
but Excel (our power company) owns several solar plants and is almost 50% sustainable energy now. Plus they offer incentives for people adding solar to their homes. Its not bad :D

New idea - instead of building a barn or meditation hut out of strawbale this summer for practice for the house, we should do a well house. Not entirely sure why they are needed, but its a common practice, so it must be important. Either way, it would protect our well pump from the elements, probably keep it from freezing (i head that just with 1 light bulb, you can give enough heat in a well house to prevent it from freezing all winter). Also could hook the electricity up to it while we build our house, so it would be close by and easy to hook over to the main house later.

Emotionally Ive been better. My main thing is still with the boy. I know theres another girl he likes alot. And thats fine, we are just friends. But he tells me like how beautiful she is and shit and that makes me jealous. I feel like hes kinda playing games with me, he told me that if he didnt find anyone else he would marry me, but then the next day he said he actually couldnt do that because he already promised that to someone else. Whats weird is before he said that, I really didnt have expectations about us being together again, I knew it was over and I was just glad to be close friends with him again. But since he said that, and then took it away, I felt really hurt and angry. And definately jealous.
And then he told me he was sending pics to the girl he likes. I asked him to send them to me too. Normally he would have laughed and done just that. But he suddenly got really angry and said he didnt want to fight with me and then left. I didnt know how to react to that. I felt excluded and hurt.
He called me a few hours later tho and apologized, but it was awkward, immediately after he apologized he started talking about the girl he likes. I dunno. I feel like he is trying to make me jealous.
But more likely, he is just confused on his emotions, and wants to share his excitement for this girl with me cuz im his friend and probably the only one he can talk to about it.
Sadly I dont know if I can really handle it. I want to be here for him and have him be able to talk about ANYTHING with me, but that cant be if I get upset when he says certain things. It doesnt work like that. I have a spying problem, and I log on wow several times a day on a trial account to see what hes up to. And hes almost always with her. And it drives me crazy. I need to stop spying so I dont think about it so much.
I dunno why im so worried. hes quite a bit younger than me. and yeah, hes my ideal guy in personality. but he still needs time to play around with other girls, and I know if i stay cool and steady and loving, in the end im whats going to be the one thats stuck by him for years. course he could find someone else and i have to accept that. at the very least we can be lifelong friends. at the most, he will come back to me because we do love each other (hes told me he does, but its like we are already family not a romantic love) and ive always been there for him. if i can just relax, let him do his thing, but still be a good friend to him, in 5 years we very well could be married.
Another reason to loose weight!! Even if its not with him, I increase my chances of finding someone 100x just by getting in shape. I have a hard enough time meeting people as it is. And no one is interested in a fat chick right off the bat. In that case you have to fall in love with their personality, and im so weird that i take someone very unique, and .. well.. narrows my chances alot. but if im healthy and in shape, then ill get alot more options to choose from without having to be as socially involved hehe :P