Ive decided to make it official and move to wordpress. Technically I like Blogger better, however, wordpress recognizes my formatting from Word 2007 when I upload from there and it also hosts pics so I can embed them easily right into my posts. Blogger makes me go through hoops so.. I just want this to be really easy and simple, Im too lazy and just want to write.
SEE MY NEW BLOG AT WORDPRESS : http://voide.wordpress.com
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
A comment to Grover
Posted in Response to my friend Grover's post. It came out pretty good, and I wanted to post it here as well for anyone else having trouble finding their paths, and as a reminder to myself so I can take my own advice when I slip into those dark times.
Im 2 years and 6 months older than my brother. Hes always followed in my
footsteps. It's frustrating because in the end I feel like he's stolen
my dreams and talents and I have nothing unique left about me. He ends
up with all the credit for everything I've started. Furthermore, he
treats me like I'm an idiot who can't figure anything out by myself,
after I've taught him everything he knows, and for years I've done just
fine by myself until he came out here. (Example - he was treating me
like its my fault the truck got stuck in the mud, like I was some kind
of idiot who didnt know how to drive, but it was bound to happen
regardless because the road was so bad. A few days after you left he
himself got stuck even worse than I did and we ripped through 12 inches
of the metal frame of the truck trying to get out). Well sorry, I had
to rant that out; relating from the other side of the sibling dilemma.
Now back to the program.
I can tell you definitely have (oh the dreaded word) potential.
You ARE very intelligent. Trying to figure yourself out tho can be a
hell of a problem. I was alot like you sunk into all sorts of drugs,
had a heroin problem when I was 14, and didnt see any life for myself
outside of that world. After a time, the drugs began to lose their
appeal and I was left with a big ol empty pit of tar, feeling
completely lost. Everyone else had stuff they were good at, passionate
about, dreams and careers and all this shit and i was stuck in my 6th
year of college groping about with nada.
So.. I just reverted to being 4. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a
hermit. And a cowboy and/or indian (for some reason in my childhood
fantasy worlds I was never a female *shrug*).
Think about what you wanted to do when you grew up as a kid. Aside
from, or perhaps even related to, your brothers influence. Sure every
kid wants to be an astronaut, but try just brainstorming a bit. What
was the most recurring dream or goal? What are the qualities or traits
that make up that path? It doesnt have to be a job even per se. Who
were your idols?
Just from knowing you this short time Id picture you
enjoying something like engineering. I could see you inventing and
designing the next wave of green technologies. You should read this
book Gaviotas. Its a true tale about a small village in Columbia, in an
area full of murder, drug cartels, depleted rainforest, poisoned water.
And these people, with no money, nothing.. get together and create a
peaceful, sustainable commune-like but without all the hippy fuzz,
community. They engineer and build ways to pump and clean water, using
only what they have available. And a bunch of other technologies. Its
really amazing. And they transform this barren patch of hopeless earth
and broken dreams into a place of art, music, love, equality, safety,
and replenish the rainforest back to what it should have been.
Anyways.. wow this is a long ass comment lmao. Just an idea tho, I
could see you eventually really getting into something like that.
Think about what makes drugs appeal to you so much. Is it expanding your
mind? New experiences? To cover up your own pain and emptiness?
Chemistry? If for example, consciousness expansion interests you.. Look
into other methods like Buddhism, meditation, astral projection. Try to
root out the core of everything and anything that intrigues you. Then
you can piece together those components into something non-self
destructive that you are passionate about.
I too struggle with making conversation, as you probably could tell. Im a much better writer than
I am talker, which is why Ive said more to you in this comment than I
did out loud over a few weeks. It used to give me excessive anxiety,
always feeling awkward and out of place and not knowing how to make
conversation unless prompted by someone else. But you know what, FUCK
IT! Its your life, you are who you are. You dont have to say anything
at all if you dont want to. If all you can come up with is shit from
your past, then create a present and a possible future for yourself.
Try to teach yourself to see the miracle in everything. Life is
incredible. The intricacies in the petal of a flower, to lose yourself
in that is beyond what acid can do for you. There are zillions of shoes
to try on, zillions of perspectives, roles to play, experiences from
both this side, and the other sides of the story...
Finding your own story is the hardest part, but as soon as you start
seeking, those zillions all come rushing in.
Im 2 years and 6 months older than my brother. Hes always followed in my
footsteps. It's frustrating because in the end I feel like he's stolen
my dreams and talents and I have nothing unique left about me. He ends
up with all the credit for everything I've started. Furthermore, he
treats me like I'm an idiot who can't figure anything out by myself,
after I've taught him everything he knows, and for years I've done just
fine by myself until he came out here. (Example - he was treating me
like its my fault the truck got stuck in the mud, like I was some kind
of idiot who didnt know how to drive, but it was bound to happen
regardless because the road was so bad. A few days after you left he
himself got stuck even worse than I did and we ripped through 12 inches
of the metal frame of the truck trying to get out). Well sorry, I had
to rant that out; relating from the other side of the sibling dilemma.
Now back to the program.
I can tell you definitely have (oh the dreaded word) potential.
You ARE very intelligent. Trying to figure yourself out tho can be a
hell of a problem. I was alot like you sunk into all sorts of drugs,
had a heroin problem when I was 14, and didnt see any life for myself
outside of that world. After a time, the drugs began to lose their
appeal and I was left with a big ol empty pit of tar, feeling
completely lost. Everyone else had stuff they were good at, passionate
about, dreams and careers and all this shit and i was stuck in my 6th
year of college groping about with nada.
So.. I just reverted to being 4. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a
hermit. And a cowboy and/or indian (for some reason in my childhood
fantasy worlds I was never a female *shrug*).
Think about what you wanted to do when you grew up as a kid. Aside
from, or perhaps even related to, your brothers influence. Sure every
kid wants to be an astronaut, but try just brainstorming a bit. What
was the most recurring dream or goal? What are the qualities or traits
that make up that path? It doesnt have to be a job even per se. Who
were your idols?
Just from knowing you this short time Id picture you
enjoying something like engineering. I could see you inventing and
designing the next wave of green technologies. You should read this
book Gaviotas. Its a true tale about a small village in Columbia, in an
area full of murder, drug cartels, depleted rainforest, poisoned water.
And these people, with no money, nothing.. get together and create a
peaceful, sustainable commune-like but without all the hippy fuzz,
community. They engineer and build ways to pump and clean water, using
only what they have available. And a bunch of other technologies. Its
really amazing. And they transform this barren patch of hopeless earth
and broken dreams into a place of art, music, love, equality, safety,
and replenish the rainforest back to what it should have been.
Anyways.. wow this is a long ass comment lmao. Just an idea tho, I
could see you eventually really getting into something like that.
Think about what makes drugs appeal to you so much. Is it expanding your
mind? New experiences? To cover up your own pain and emptiness?
Chemistry? If for example, consciousness expansion interests you.. Look
into other methods like Buddhism, meditation, astral projection. Try to
root out the core of everything and anything that intrigues you. Then
you can piece together those components into something non-self
destructive that you are passionate about.
I too struggle with making conversation, as you probably could tell. Im a much better writer than
I am talker, which is why Ive said more to you in this comment than I
did out loud over a few weeks. It used to give me excessive anxiety,
always feeling awkward and out of place and not knowing how to make
conversation unless prompted by someone else. But you know what, FUCK
IT! Its your life, you are who you are. You dont have to say anything
at all if you dont want to. If all you can come up with is shit from
your past, then create a present and a possible future for yourself.
Try to teach yourself to see the miracle in everything. Life is
incredible. The intricacies in the petal of a flower, to lose yourself
in that is beyond what acid can do for you. There are zillions of shoes
to try on, zillions of perspectives, roles to play, experiences from
both this side, and the other sides of the story...
Finding your own story is the hardest part, but as soon as you start
seeking, those zillions all come rushing in.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
blog crisis
I think Im moving over to wordpress. Im not 100% settled on it tho. My blog there is http://voide.wordpress.com/
Fuck, am i really this indecisive that i cant choose where to put my damn blog? lol
it doesnt even matter. i liked wordpress better at first because it seemed to have more options, but now its annoying me and i cant figure out the things i want to do.
My main issue is that the columns are too narrow in all the themes. Why cant my blog go across 75% of the page instead of 20%? It makes posting pictures annoying.
Update: 5 mins later. I fixed it. lol.
Fuck, am i really this indecisive that i cant choose where to put my damn blog? lol
it doesnt even matter. i liked wordpress better at first because it seemed to have more options, but now its annoying me and i cant figure out the things i want to do.
My main issue is that the columns are too narrow in all the themes. Why cant my blog go across 75% of the page instead of 20%? It makes posting pictures annoying.
Update: 5 mins later. I fixed it. lol.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
....and now i dont know what to write.
thought i might have found emily lockhart on facebook, with the name emily mclean or somethin like that.
eric and i planted a bunch of stuff. round 1 failed in the salad containers, egg cartons, and toilet paper rolls. They didnt sprout at all and were drying out too fast, and yet also growing mold. Actually one egg carton sprouted a few tatsoi. We moved the carton to the greenhouse. It did well at first, but dried out so quickly and now is all shriveled and dead. We planted a bunch of others inside the old tree containers. a few of those have sprouted, but for the most part we are not having anywhere near the luck we anticipated.
what could be wrong? how do we deal with the dryness?
we put plastic wrap over teh cartons today, to raise the humidity hoping to get the seeds sprouting.
started doin surveys again for money, god it sucks.
tryin to get into a healthy lifestyle now too but..
just started playin ffxi again
im stoned on crappy weed and im tired as hell.
oh yeah, the swine flu outbreak. man, its spreading like wildfire.
i like that i live in the boonies.
large populations are disasterous.
i got to thinking - maybe this is the beginning of the end. maybe 2012, thats when a new beginning happens after a period of 'cleansing'. so really, the end is now. damn, we are two years behind schedule on our stawbale house.
thought i might have found emily lockhart on facebook, with the name emily mclean or somethin like that.
eric and i planted a bunch of stuff. round 1 failed in the salad containers, egg cartons, and toilet paper rolls. They didnt sprout at all and were drying out too fast, and yet also growing mold. Actually one egg carton sprouted a few tatsoi. We moved the carton to the greenhouse. It did well at first, but dried out so quickly and now is all shriveled and dead. We planted a bunch of others inside the old tree containers. a few of those have sprouted, but for the most part we are not having anywhere near the luck we anticipated.
what could be wrong? how do we deal with the dryness?
we put plastic wrap over teh cartons today, to raise the humidity hoping to get the seeds sprouting.
started doin surveys again for money, god it sucks.
tryin to get into a healthy lifestyle now too but..
just started playin ffxi again
im stoned on crappy weed and im tired as hell.
oh yeah, the swine flu outbreak. man, its spreading like wildfire.
i like that i live in the boonies.
large populations are disasterous.
i got to thinking - maybe this is the beginning of the end. maybe 2012, thats when a new beginning happens after a period of 'cleansing'. so really, the end is now. damn, we are two years behind schedule on our stawbale house.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Preparing to Plant
The beds are all built now in the greenhouse, and Eric ran up to alamosa with the trailer to get a ton of dirt at a time, because our calculations seemed to be way off (we were estimating over a grand for the soil), so we took the guy from the dirt place's advice - start with a ton, see how much it fills. To fill all the beds in the greenhouse, it took us 2 tons, with a couple extra wheelbarrows from a third ton. The extra goes into our coldframes, helps inoculate our compost pile, and will be mixed into our topsoil for our large outdoor fenced in garden (we are just prepping it this year, doing a 1-time till to break up the compacted soil and get out the large rocks, mixing in compost, and planting a thick cover crop to further improve and loosen the soil, of rye, oats, and 3 types of clovers, and a handful of spare wildflower seeds we have.)
We accepted the bid for the septic, for $3750 including all labor from RMS Utilities in Alamosa. I read up on the literature they sent us, it was actually pretty interesting. They use environmentally friendly materials, and the leech field is meant to conserve as much water as possible. Ultimately I think we will be happier with septic. Carrying out buckets full of poop and trying to clean them outside in the middle of winter doesnt sound like too much fun.
I still think composting toilets are awesome tho, and we will use it in our outhouse we are building this summer, using old wood pallets gotten for free from La Jara Trading Post (they just burn them unless we grab em).
We went through all our seeds and organized them by type, then chose which ones we wanted to plant this year. I started a few already in trays. Well, we dont have any trays and cant really afford them, so made use of what we got - old cornplastic salad containers, cardboard egg cartons, sprout cartons, berry cartons, empty toilet paper rolls, etc. I put them on the cheap folding wood tables and right up against the windowsill, but its not getting too much light. The kale in the 5 gallon bucket is ready to be eaten too. And also in a 3-gallon bucket, I started some yacon tubers that a friend in amsterdam sent me.
Heres a rough outline of whats what .. (pardon the bad editing, but just for reference ..)
We accepted the bid for the septic, for $3750 including all labor from RMS Utilities in Alamosa. I read up on the literature they sent us, it was actually pretty interesting. They use environmentally friendly materials, and the leech field is meant to conserve as much water as possible. Ultimately I think we will be happier with septic. Carrying out buckets full of poop and trying to clean them outside in the middle of winter doesnt sound like too much fun.
I still think composting toilets are awesome tho, and we will use it in our outhouse we are building this summer, using old wood pallets gotten for free from La Jara Trading Post (they just burn them unless we grab em).
We went through all our seeds and organized them by type, then chose which ones we wanted to plant this year. I started a few already in trays. Well, we dont have any trays and cant really afford them, so made use of what we got - old cornplastic salad containers, cardboard egg cartons, sprout cartons, berry cartons, empty toilet paper rolls, etc. I put them on the cheap folding wood tables and right up against the windowsill, but its not getting too much light. The kale in the 5 gallon bucket is ready to be eaten too. And also in a 3-gallon bucket, I started some yacon tubers that a friend in amsterdam sent me.
Heres a rough outline of whats what .. (pardon the bad editing, but just for reference ..)
TOMATOES
Hanging
Moms Tomato – Variety
Moms Tomato – Medium
Moms Tomato – Big
Tomato – Early Red Stupice
*Moms – 2yrs
Outside
Amazon Chocolate Tomato
Black
Greenhouse
Pink Floyd
Absinthe
Jack White
Amish Paste
Hungarian Heart
LETTUCE AND GREENS
*Totsoi
*Mache
*Mizuna MG
Forellenchus
Yugslavian Red
Mizuna Mustard Green
Mervelle Des Saisons
Lollo Rossa
Bronze Arrowhead
Crisp Mint Romaine
Flame Lettuce
Outside
Thai Green Lettuce
Strawberry Spinach
Bau Sin Mustard greens
Viroflay Spinach (Out in summer/fall, Greenhouse in winter)
Broadstem Green Chard (Out in summer/fall, Greenhouse in winter)
Dinosaur kale (Out in summer/fall, Greenhouse in winter)
True Siberian Kale (Out in summer/fall, Greenhouse in winter)
China Choy Chinese Cabbage (Out in summer/fall, Greenhouse in winter)
Calabrese Broccoli (Out in summer/fall, Greenhouse in winter)
PEPPERS
Sweet Chocolate (Out and In)
Quadrato Asti Giallo
Buran
Alma Paprika
HERBS
Garlic Chives (outside and inside – plant with carrots, tomatoes, brassicas, mustards)
Cilantro Long Standing (inside)
Greek Oregano (In and Out- with broccoli cabbages cucumbers)
Bee Balm (Outside, with tomatoes)
Sweet Genovesa Basil (tomatoes and peppers)
Mrs Burns Lemon Basic (tomatoes and peppers)
Catnip (repels aphids, mice, assorted bugs)
Red Core Chantenay Carrots – Outside
Plum Purple Radish – Inside first set, Outside after
Cousa Squash – Outside
Summer Crookneck Squash -Outside
Table Queen Squash – Outside
Cucurbita Pepo (Squash) Var. giroumontia, var wauszquestia
Early Silverline Melon – Outline
Absinthe Muskmelon Mix – Outside
Yellow
True Lemon Cucumber - Inside and Out
Armenian Cucumber – Inside and Out
Egyptian Walking Onions – Outside
Long Red
Austrian Brown Onion – Mostly Out, few in
Eva’s Burgundy Lettuce Seeds (Winter Greenhouse)
Evas Ground Cherry (outside, nonbed)
Hornings Farm Ground Cherry (outside, nonbed)
Jefferonian Alpine Strawberry Mix (inside and out)
Goldan Bantam Improved Corn (outside)
Various Corn Mixes (outside)
Dwarf Gray Sugar Pea (in and outside)
Sugar Snap (in and out)
Broad Windsor Fava (out)
Good Mother Stallard Bean (outside, 3 sisters)
Im angry and jealous I suppose. Both at my brother. I want him to leave. I dont want him to be a part of my dream. I called him yesterday from Alamosa and was telling him about the baby chickens and ducks I saw in Big R, they were so adorable! As soon as I said that the first thing he said was "You cant have one." Like wtf? First of all, Im not stupid enough to buy one right off the bat without something set up for it. Second of all, this is MY project, MY dream. and hes my brother. he cant tell me what i can and cant do. If I want a chicken, I can get a chicken. I dont need his permission.
Im also jealous because all my friends just talk to him. No one gives a fuck about me. He makes all these posts on facebook and they sound like shit I used to write. I mean, its good. I just feel like he takes everything from me. Everything I care about, everything Im good at, he steals away and flaunts it in front of people and gets all the attention. None of my friends talk to me anymore. They only call me if they cant get in touch with him.
I feel so left out and hurt.
I want to change myself so this shit doesnt bother me. But how?
What do I want?
I want to be better than him at something.
I want to have recognition for what Im good at.
I want to have freedom to do as I please and live my life dream freely.
I want to be cared about by people.
How do I accomplish this?
-Practice. Focus on what Im good at. Even if he does them too. Writing and photography. Write weekly at a minimum. Try to blog one, and do one creative. Start editing my pictures, get a high quality printer. Im good at research and organization. Put those skills to work for the land, develop comprehensive spreadsheets of information. Practice didgeridoo. Become more proficient with technology and computers.
-Learn new skills. Learn photoshop. Learn viola. Re-learn to paint. Get trained in something unique that Eric doesnt have like EMT Training. Read alot and take notes (
to help me remember and pay attention). Get certified in permaculture. Move towards goals of being a wilderness ranger, a herbalist(focus on wild native plants), and also towards being a consultant for sustainable living and design. Learn knitting and sewing, make my own clothes.
- Promotion. Clean photos up and get a few bests, try to sell them in Alamosa or get them up around town in Antonito. Make my blog public. Advertise it. Post pics and writings on facebook and myspace. Stay involved in the community, go to town meetings and spread my knowledge of sustainable techniques. Try to get hired by the county. Practice positive thinking.
- Freedom. Spend more time outside alone, hiking and camping. Volunteer some time, once a month at the homeless or animal shelter. Go to college, make some friends, even just acquaintences, jsut some other people that I can be around besides Eric that dont have any ties to him. Call my old friends once in a while. Dont just listen to them and patiently wait to get off the phone, take initiative and tell them about what Im doing, get excited and share myself.
Meditate, develop peace of mind and compassion. Develop passion, become obsessed with things so that I become meticulously knowledgeable or good at them. Have lots of new life experience, experience many things so I have a wealth of stories, try to do some of them seperate from Eric. Go exploring on my own every now and then, just drive around randomly, take pictures.
Relationships - Lose weight!! People will treat me with more respect, sad but true. I know im not ugly so i might be able to get a lover too. Ill be more confident and outgoing when Im comfortable with how I look. Again, positive thinking. Reach out to old friends. Go to a different college than eric and try to meet people seperately from him. Be involved in the community. Pursue my relationships in BARC, even tho they are all alot older than me.
What makes me unique? Unique from Eric?
Im more introspective, tho he is alot too. Im more sensitive and more caring. I inspire him to do everything he does, but then he just takes over and does it better. Fuck I dont know. Nothing :(. No I cant say that, I need to be proud of who I am. But what? How?
Im also jealous because all my friends just talk to him. No one gives a fuck about me. He makes all these posts on facebook and they sound like shit I used to write. I mean, its good. I just feel like he takes everything from me. Everything I care about, everything Im good at, he steals away and flaunts it in front of people and gets all the attention. None of my friends talk to me anymore. They only call me if they cant get in touch with him.
I feel so left out and hurt.
I want to change myself so this shit doesnt bother me. But how?
What do I want?
I want to be better than him at something.
I want to have recognition for what Im good at.
I want to have freedom to do as I please and live my life dream freely.
I want to be cared about by people.
How do I accomplish this?
-Practice. Focus on what Im good at. Even if he does them too. Writing and photography. Write weekly at a minimum. Try to blog one, and do one creative. Start editing my pictures, get a high quality printer. Im good at research and organization. Put those skills to work for the land, develop comprehensive spreadsheets of information. Practice didgeridoo. Become more proficient with technology and computers.
-Learn new skills. Learn photoshop. Learn viola. Re-learn to paint. Get trained in something unique that Eric doesnt have like EMT Training. Read alot and take notes (
to help me remember and pay attention). Get certified in permaculture. Move towards goals of being a wilderness ranger, a herbalist(focus on wild native plants), and also towards being a consultant for sustainable living and design. Learn knitting and sewing, make my own clothes.
- Promotion. Clean photos up and get a few bests, try to sell them in Alamosa or get them up around town in Antonito. Make my blog public. Advertise it. Post pics and writings on facebook and myspace. Stay involved in the community, go to town meetings and spread my knowledge of sustainable techniques. Try to get hired by the county. Practice positive thinking.
- Freedom. Spend more time outside alone, hiking and camping. Volunteer some time, once a month at the homeless or animal shelter. Go to college, make some friends, even just acquaintences, jsut some other people that I can be around besides Eric that dont have any ties to him. Call my old friends once in a while. Dont just listen to them and patiently wait to get off the phone, take initiative and tell them about what Im doing, get excited and share myself.
Meditate, develop peace of mind and compassion. Develop passion, become obsessed with things so that I become meticulously knowledgeable or good at them. Have lots of new life experience, experience many things so I have a wealth of stories, try to do some of them seperate from Eric. Go exploring on my own every now and then, just drive around randomly, take pictures.
Relationships - Lose weight!! People will treat me with more respect, sad but true. I know im not ugly so i might be able to get a lover too. Ill be more confident and outgoing when Im comfortable with how I look. Again, positive thinking. Reach out to old friends. Go to a different college than eric and try to meet people seperately from him. Be involved in the community. Pursue my relationships in BARC, even tho they are all alot older than me.
What makes me unique? Unique from Eric?
Im more introspective, tho he is alot too. Im more sensitive and more caring. I inspire him to do everything he does, but then he just takes over and does it better. Fuck I dont know. Nothing :(. No I cant say that, I need to be proud of who I am. But what? How?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Just got back from the 3 day strawbale course with Laura Bartel of GreenWeaver, through the CU Sustainability Series in Boulder, CO.
It was a 5.5 hour drive up, and I was pretty sick the whole time (still am) but definately worth it. Ive taken other courses with Laura and other people which we talked about strawbale and played with it a little bit, but this was my first in depth course. All the other students seemed particularly impressed by us (my brother Eric and I), as we came in with a solid design we have been modifying for a year or so now.
Very boring, basic, rectangle. Which means, easy and cheap to build. We can add creativity and beauty in the details, sculpting into the walls with cob and painting murals with natural pigments, etc.
The design is somewhat of a duplex idea. Since im sharing this house with my brother, we want plenty of our own space and space for our own families. So we each have a large apartment-like wing, but share a living room and kitchen.
Well, everyone in the course seemed psyched for us, and wants to come down and help us. I hope that sticks until next year when we actually really need their help!
Our friend Steve also came out for the week from CT. I was pretty sick the whole time unfortunately, and then we drove up to Boulder and he stayed with some other friends while we were in the course. But while he was here, he helped Eric bust out the greenhouse beds. The wood we got from All-Pine in La Jara, I learned of them actually when looking for rough cut wood to build bat houses with a few months ago. Great resource, very friendly and cheap. We spent about $100 on wood.. If we went for some nicer stuff from the La Jara Trading post, it would have easily cost $3-400.
We still need to buy soil for the beds. That is going to be reallly expensive. About a grand.
Once we get that goin, then we will make some large coldframes using strawbales and old windows. And then in the next month, start growin some veggies!
Also very soon we will start building our wellhouse. The main purpose of the wellhouse is for us to get more experience building with strawbales, and complete a project start to finish that will give us essential practice for when we build the house next spring.
We are looking at a rubble trench foundation, topped with a course of earthbags, then strawbale on up. It will be really small, about 6x6 feet.
It was a 5.5 hour drive up, and I was pretty sick the whole time (still am) but definately worth it. Ive taken other courses with Laura and other people which we talked about strawbale and played with it a little bit, but this was my first in depth course. All the other students seemed particularly impressed by us (my brother Eric and I), as we came in with a solid design we have been modifying for a year or so now.
Very boring, basic, rectangle. Which means, easy and cheap to build. We can add creativity and beauty in the details, sculpting into the walls with cob and painting murals with natural pigments, etc.
The design is somewhat of a duplex idea. Since im sharing this house with my brother, we want plenty of our own space and space for our own families. So we each have a large apartment-like wing, but share a living room and kitchen.
Well, everyone in the course seemed psyched for us, and wants to come down and help us. I hope that sticks until next year when we actually really need their help!
Our friend Steve also came out for the week from CT. I was pretty sick the whole time unfortunately, and then we drove up to Boulder and he stayed with some other friends while we were in the course. But while he was here, he helped Eric bust out the greenhouse beds. The wood we got from All-Pine in La Jara, I learned of them actually when looking for rough cut wood to build bat houses with a few months ago. Great resource, very friendly and cheap. We spent about $100 on wood.. If we went for some nicer stuff from the La Jara Trading post, it would have easily cost $3-400.
We still need to buy soil for the beds. That is going to be reallly expensive. About a grand.
Once we get that goin, then we will make some large coldframes using strawbales and old windows. And then in the next month, start growin some veggies!
Also very soon we will start building our wellhouse. The main purpose of the wellhouse is for us to get more experience building with strawbales, and complete a project start to finish that will give us essential practice for when we build the house next spring.
We are looking at a rubble trench foundation, topped with a course of earthbags, then strawbale on up. It will be really small, about 6x6 feet.
Monday, January 26, 2009
So the DDR mat came, and Ive been playing that a bit. Definately gets me sweating hard, much more intense a workout than the 10 minute dance aerobics things ive been doing. I aim for 20 minutes of aerobics a day, plus 15-20 minutes of yoga, plus about 4 minutes on a break from work to bust out a bunch of pushups and crunches. Not too bad. I should still push it up a little more to loose weight. Ill ween up to it. I hate exercise.
I brought roshi outside for the first time since i found him. He didnt like it. He was very scared. Didnt help that Pazu was outside too and immediately went to chasing Roshi. I tried to bring him back inside but he took off running and literally disappeared.. I went around the fence 5 seconds after he did and he was nowhere to be seen. I looked for him for a couple hours but no luck. I set the live animal trap again hoping he would come back. I was really nervous because the stray dog packs have been around here lately, and I could hear them barking and howling not too far off.
As often as I could I ran outside during work, calling for him. I was really worried and upset, thinking I had lost him. I could only hope that before I found him, he had a home, and was just disoriented because of the porcupine quills, and now he was headed back home.
Well after work at 10:30pm or so, I went outside, feeling dejected at seeing the empty trap. I sat down on the brick wall and half-heartedly called for him, knowing he was gone ... but then .. there he was! He came loping back up to me, covered in mud!
Yay! Got the Rosh back!
I went and got the lumber for the bird / bat / hawk / owl boxes im goingto build. Allpine Lumber in La Jara is a good spot, can buy scraps and all kinds of lumber pretty cheap. At La jara Trading Post, for a couple pieces of plywood I spent $50. For about 8 assorted boards, all roughly 6 feet long, at Allpine, it only cost $7.
Tho, I found out at La jara trading post, your welcome to take their old pallets for free. Good news to me! We can use them to build compost bins and a simple outhouse.
At Allpine, for $20 you can get a full truckload of scrap lumber (some of which is beautiful and good size).
Their sawdust is commissioned out already unfortunately.
Need to find a very cheap or free sawdust provider for the composting toilets.
Tho I found out that we HAVE to have a septic system. Which from google estimates I thought would be about 15 grand, but calling installers in the area its actually going to be about 4 grand. Still alot, and will have to get my dad to pay for it. We have to have it installed before electricity, and we want to have electricity this summer.
I brought roshi outside for the first time since i found him. He didnt like it. He was very scared. Didnt help that Pazu was outside too and immediately went to chasing Roshi. I tried to bring him back inside but he took off running and literally disappeared.. I went around the fence 5 seconds after he did and he was nowhere to be seen. I looked for him for a couple hours but no luck. I set the live animal trap again hoping he would come back. I was really nervous because the stray dog packs have been around here lately, and I could hear them barking and howling not too far off.
As often as I could I ran outside during work, calling for him. I was really worried and upset, thinking I had lost him. I could only hope that before I found him, he had a home, and was just disoriented because of the porcupine quills, and now he was headed back home.
Well after work at 10:30pm or so, I went outside, feeling dejected at seeing the empty trap. I sat down on the brick wall and half-heartedly called for him, knowing he was gone ... but then .. there he was! He came loping back up to me, covered in mud!
Yay! Got the Rosh back!
I went and got the lumber for the bird / bat / hawk / owl boxes im goingto build. Allpine Lumber in La Jara is a good spot, can buy scraps and all kinds of lumber pretty cheap. At La jara Trading Post, for a couple pieces of plywood I spent $50. For about 8 assorted boards, all roughly 6 feet long, at Allpine, it only cost $7.
Tho, I found out at La jara trading post, your welcome to take their old pallets for free. Good news to me! We can use them to build compost bins and a simple outhouse.
At Allpine, for $20 you can get a full truckload of scrap lumber (some of which is beautiful and good size).
Their sawdust is commissioned out already unfortunately.
Need to find a very cheap or free sawdust provider for the composting toilets.
Tho I found out that we HAVE to have a septic system. Which from google estimates I thought would be about 15 grand, but calling installers in the area its actually going to be about 4 grand. Still alot, and will have to get my dad to pay for it. We have to have it installed before electricity, and we want to have electricity this summer.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Weekly update, nothing, but yet something
Shit. All my ideas for the things ive done this week, i now see were all done last week and i already wrote about them. Apparently 2 sessions of Brain Age hasnt improved my memory :P
This sucks, the weeks are going by quicker and quicker and honestly I dont know what I do each day. It just disappears. I hate it when it gets like this, where i wake up, im tired all day, so everything takes twice as long. i exercise, make breakfast, take my meds, and read my email, and by then its already 11 or 12. Then I try to do my 1o minutes of cleanup, but from the looks of the house its not working lol. 10 minutes will be good for maintenance, to actually get shit cleaned up its gotta be at least 30 mins.
Then its time to make lunch. THat usually takes an hour, I make and eat, play an hour of video games, and then go to work.
A whole big pile of nothing.
I excuse myself because ive been mildly sick lately (suprised it took this long to kick in - normally the whole winter im slightly sick and exhausted) but really its no excuse. Its ok to take things easy, but i should still be doing something worthwhile and memorable every day.
I have been doing well with exercising (missed 1 day so far). Still need to up it tho to like an hour, but im still at the point where a half hour feels like a ton. I mean, i used to do no exercise, occassionaly forcing myself to do 10 minutes of aerobics, maybe twice a week. During the summer I counted being on the land as my exercise, and sure some days were, but most werent really exercise.
Ive been spending too much money also. On alot of small things that add up.
But they are cool things which I think will be worth it in the end.
A subscription to the local paper. Ive wanted it for some time, and its not THAT bad, $30 a year. Worth it to stay in touch with whats goin on in the area.
I got microphones and a DDR mat for the ps2. This lets us play (ripped) karaoke games for party games (instead of paying $200 for rock band), and the DDR Mat will be a fun way to exercise. eventually I might get another mat so we have 2 and can battle. They are only like $10 on ebay. Same with the mics.
I also got a set of Devil sticks. My mom probably threw out my set from when I was a kid, after I ran away she threw out most of my stuff. I suck at it, but its fun, and a cool thing to have around the house to entertain.
And, I got a CycloDS which basically lets you put ROMs onto a disc and then load them onto your DS. In other words, you can play hundreds of games free without having to change game cartridges. Also has cool options like cheat codes, Real Time save, skins, and more.
It wasnt cheap, about $60, but that right there is 2 bought games. Ive already put about 10 games on it, so its already paid for itself. My microSD memory card is only 1 GB, which I thought would be plenty, but its not. Not for someone like me who obsessively collects things (I want just about every quality DS game ever made on there). So theres another thing I bought - an 8gb microSD card.
And then I realized that to play Game Boy Advance games, you need another tool, called the EZ Flash 3-in-1. So I bought that too, but that one was about $20.
And, I bought chinese, which was $30, of course. Its too hard to just order one thing lol. Fortunately it should feed me for at least 3 days, so its not TOO bad of a deal.
The new burrito place in Alamosa - the Fresh Tortilla Company, is pretty good. Its alot like Qdoba, they make your burrito with fresh ingredients right in front of you. I had a couple suggestions which Im going to send to them, like .. the rice is overcooked.. they need to make it in smaller batches so that it doesnt overcook waiting for customers while staying warm. That way it wont ever be undercooked either, they just have to make it twice as often. Also, add lime to it. Lime-cilantro rice is the shiznit.
They make their own fresh flour tortillas in plain and jalapeno-cheddar. They are quite good, the jalapeno cheddar you can actually taste the flavors unlike the ones you buy in the grocery store. But they need corn tortillas too. A tortilla factory just aint completely without fresh corn tortillas.
Also, would be great to have some more veggies. Fajita style veggies would be good, peppers and onions.
Otherwise tho, its quite good and healthy (from what I can determine, its about 600 calories for a burrito, and about $7.00) Not bad, just make sure to skip the churros despite their deliciousness and get water instead of soda or, if you must treat yourself, go for the small soda size and eat in. Eat inners get free soda refills, so paying for the smaller size is worth it since you can refill it. Also it will help budget how much soda your drinking.
No more sonic. My favorite drink in the world, the strawberry limeade, has about 800 calories for a medium size! Almost half of my entire days calories!!! Delicious, but not worth it. If im dying for one, Ill have the kiddie size.
Im getting into home made bread making. I can control how much white flour goes into it, also how much salt (most people dont realize it but we all get waaay too much sodium in our diets, and its terrible for your heart and blood pressure). Plus theeres something really wholesome and nostalgic about home made bread in a country kitchen. Not that I ever had that in my childhood, but nostalgic in cultural memory. Id ideally like to eat super simply, which in a way would also be healthy .. even tho Id be eating good amounts of bread, I just feel like it sbetter for me if I make it myself. Bread- (preferably rye with olive oil, italian spices, and mushrooms (dired and soaked) - my dad sent me that for christmas, I was doubtful of the mushrooms but to my suprise it was fantastic and im hooked), and salad, and soup. It would be alot cheaper to eat that way, and for some reason I think that eating really simply, eating pretty much the same thing each day, would help me loose weight.
I dunno, but I have lost about 2 lbs since I started the super awesome weight loss deal with my folks. (course, hard to tell right now, since its that time of the month and im retaining water) but.. wow this is so sweet, im so lucky.. basically, $20 per lb I loose, but I cant collect until Ive lost at least 20 lbs. Therefore, every 20 lbs I loose, which should take 2-3 months, I get $400. When I get to my goal weight of 150-160, I get a bonus $1000. If I keep it off for a year, I get another $500, and for a 2nd year, another $500. Its alot I know, but it has to be to really motivate me. I thought about doing it forhalf that amount, but to be honest it wouldnt really be enough to work up the hardcore motivation i need. Still its not really enough. Which is really sad, saying something about how poor my willpower is. If it was like $20, 000, that would be enough to get me REALLY going lol. But hey, I want to loose the weight anyways, I just need an external source to help motivate me to do everything im doing right, and kick it up a notch. I feel like im at my max, but I know Im not, thats why a reward is important.
At this point tho, finding time to exercise that much .. I dunno how im going to do it. I do nothing and yet have no time.
Oh. That reminded me of somehting I did. Lol.
I went to a Solar Power Panel yesterday in Alamosa. There were a bunch of people talking about how the SLV is looking to be developed for solar power in the coming years. basically the grid needs to be rebuilt as a smart grid first, and then the building of solar plants. One of the solar technologies uses water, which concerns everyone due to our water issues, and the other is just plain solar panels. The only better thing about the water method is that its easier to store the energy. Thats a big drawback of solar right now, on a commercial level, is the lack of adequate storage technology. Homeowners use batteries, which in itself is not a great technology, it requires regular maintenance and is expensive and you need alot of them. The SLV is the prime spot for international solar developers.. theres about 5 spots in the US that would be good, but ours is the best because of lots of open land without buildings or obstructions, rural area, high altitude, and 300+ days of sun a year.
I was amazed to see a map showing how much land area is needed to supply coal plants .. both the plants themselves and also mining for coal, it took up a good 1/3 of our country. While a solar plant .. One 60 square mile plant could supply the entire US!!!
It all makes me feel less guilty about bring electricity to our property. We want to be on full solar eventually but that may take a few years, top priority is to get the house built first lol.
but Excel (our power company) owns several solar plants and is almost 50% sustainable energy now. Plus they offer incentives for people adding solar to their homes. Its not bad :D
New idea - instead of building a barn or meditation hut out of strawbale this summer for practice for the house, we should do a well house. Not entirely sure why they are needed, but its a common practice, so it must be important. Either way, it would protect our well pump from the elements, probably keep it from freezing (i head that just with 1 light bulb, you can give enough heat in a well house to prevent it from freezing all winter). Also could hook the electricity up to it while we build our house, so it would be close by and easy to hook over to the main house later.
Emotionally Ive been better. My main thing is still with the boy. I know theres another girl he likes alot. And thats fine, we are just friends. But he tells me like how beautiful she is and shit and that makes me jealous. I feel like hes kinda playing games with me, he told me that if he didnt find anyone else he would marry me, but then the next day he said he actually couldnt do that because he already promised that to someone else. Whats weird is before he said that, I really didnt have expectations about us being together again, I knew it was over and I was just glad to be close friends with him again. But since he said that, and then took it away, I felt really hurt and angry. And definately jealous.
And then he told me he was sending pics to the girl he likes. I asked him to send them to me too. Normally he would have laughed and done just that. But he suddenly got really angry and said he didnt want to fight with me and then left. I didnt know how to react to that. I felt excluded and hurt.
He called me a few hours later tho and apologized, but it was awkward, immediately after he apologized he started talking about the girl he likes. I dunno. I feel like he is trying to make me jealous.
But more likely, he is just confused on his emotions, and wants to share his excitement for this girl with me cuz im his friend and probably the only one he can talk to about it.
Sadly I dont know if I can really handle it. I want to be here for him and have him be able to talk about ANYTHING with me, but that cant be if I get upset when he says certain things. It doesnt work like that. I have a spying problem, and I log on wow several times a day on a trial account to see what hes up to. And hes almost always with her. And it drives me crazy. I need to stop spying so I dont think about it so much.
I dunno why im so worried. hes quite a bit younger than me. and yeah, hes my ideal guy in personality. but he still needs time to play around with other girls, and I know if i stay cool and steady and loving, in the end im whats going to be the one thats stuck by him for years. course he could find someone else and i have to accept that. at the very least we can be lifelong friends. at the most, he will come back to me because we do love each other (hes told me he does, but its like we are already family not a romantic love) and ive always been there for him. if i can just relax, let him do his thing, but still be a good friend to him, in 5 years we very well could be married.
Another reason to loose weight!! Even if its not with him, I increase my chances of finding someone 100x just by getting in shape. I have a hard enough time meeting people as it is. And no one is interested in a fat chick right off the bat. In that case you have to fall in love with their personality, and im so weird that i take someone very unique, and .. well.. narrows my chances alot. but if im healthy and in shape, then ill get alot more options to choose from without having to be as socially involved hehe :P
This sucks, the weeks are going by quicker and quicker and honestly I dont know what I do each day. It just disappears. I hate it when it gets like this, where i wake up, im tired all day, so everything takes twice as long. i exercise, make breakfast, take my meds, and read my email, and by then its already 11 or 12. Then I try to do my 1o minutes of cleanup, but from the looks of the house its not working lol. 10 minutes will be good for maintenance, to actually get shit cleaned up its gotta be at least 30 mins.
Then its time to make lunch. THat usually takes an hour, I make and eat, play an hour of video games, and then go to work.
A whole big pile of nothing.
I excuse myself because ive been mildly sick lately (suprised it took this long to kick in - normally the whole winter im slightly sick and exhausted) but really its no excuse. Its ok to take things easy, but i should still be doing something worthwhile and memorable every day.
I have been doing well with exercising (missed 1 day so far). Still need to up it tho to like an hour, but im still at the point where a half hour feels like a ton. I mean, i used to do no exercise, occassionaly forcing myself to do 10 minutes of aerobics, maybe twice a week. During the summer I counted being on the land as my exercise, and sure some days were, but most werent really exercise.
Ive been spending too much money also. On alot of small things that add up.
But they are cool things which I think will be worth it in the end.
A subscription to the local paper. Ive wanted it for some time, and its not THAT bad, $30 a year. Worth it to stay in touch with whats goin on in the area.
I got microphones and a DDR mat for the ps2. This lets us play (ripped) karaoke games for party games (instead of paying $200 for rock band), and the DDR Mat will be a fun way to exercise. eventually I might get another mat so we have 2 and can battle. They are only like $10 on ebay. Same with the mics.
I also got a set of Devil sticks. My mom probably threw out my set from when I was a kid, after I ran away she threw out most of my stuff. I suck at it, but its fun, and a cool thing to have around the house to entertain.
And, I got a CycloDS which basically lets you put ROMs onto a disc and then load them onto your DS. In other words, you can play hundreds of games free without having to change game cartridges. Also has cool options like cheat codes, Real Time save, skins, and more.
It wasnt cheap, about $60, but that right there is 2 bought games. Ive already put about 10 games on it, so its already paid for itself. My microSD memory card is only 1 GB, which I thought would be plenty, but its not. Not for someone like me who obsessively collects things (I want just about every quality DS game ever made on there). So theres another thing I bought - an 8gb microSD card.
And then I realized that to play Game Boy Advance games, you need another tool, called the EZ Flash 3-in-1. So I bought that too, but that one was about $20.
And, I bought chinese, which was $30, of course. Its too hard to just order one thing lol. Fortunately it should feed me for at least 3 days, so its not TOO bad of a deal.
The new burrito place in Alamosa - the Fresh Tortilla Company, is pretty good. Its alot like Qdoba, they make your burrito with fresh ingredients right in front of you. I had a couple suggestions which Im going to send to them, like .. the rice is overcooked.. they need to make it in smaller batches so that it doesnt overcook waiting for customers while staying warm. That way it wont ever be undercooked either, they just have to make it twice as often. Also, add lime to it. Lime-cilantro rice is the shiznit.
They make their own fresh flour tortillas in plain and jalapeno-cheddar. They are quite good, the jalapeno cheddar you can actually taste the flavors unlike the ones you buy in the grocery store. But they need corn tortillas too. A tortilla factory just aint completely without fresh corn tortillas.
Also, would be great to have some more veggies. Fajita style veggies would be good, peppers and onions.
Otherwise tho, its quite good and healthy (from what I can determine, its about 600 calories for a burrito, and about $7.00) Not bad, just make sure to skip the churros despite their deliciousness and get water instead of soda or, if you must treat yourself, go for the small soda size and eat in. Eat inners get free soda refills, so paying for the smaller size is worth it since you can refill it. Also it will help budget how much soda your drinking.
No more sonic. My favorite drink in the world, the strawberry limeade, has about 800 calories for a medium size! Almost half of my entire days calories!!! Delicious, but not worth it. If im dying for one, Ill have the kiddie size.
Im getting into home made bread making. I can control how much white flour goes into it, also how much salt (most people dont realize it but we all get waaay too much sodium in our diets, and its terrible for your heart and blood pressure). Plus theeres something really wholesome and nostalgic about home made bread in a country kitchen. Not that I ever had that in my childhood, but nostalgic in cultural memory. Id ideally like to eat super simply, which in a way would also be healthy .. even tho Id be eating good amounts of bread, I just feel like it sbetter for me if I make it myself. Bread- (preferably rye with olive oil, italian spices, and mushrooms (dired and soaked) - my dad sent me that for christmas, I was doubtful of the mushrooms but to my suprise it was fantastic and im hooked), and salad, and soup. It would be alot cheaper to eat that way, and for some reason I think that eating really simply, eating pretty much the same thing each day, would help me loose weight.
I dunno, but I have lost about 2 lbs since I started the super awesome weight loss deal with my folks. (course, hard to tell right now, since its that time of the month and im retaining water) but.. wow this is so sweet, im so lucky.. basically, $20 per lb I loose, but I cant collect until Ive lost at least 20 lbs. Therefore, every 20 lbs I loose, which should take 2-3 months, I get $400. When I get to my goal weight of 150-160, I get a bonus $1000. If I keep it off for a year, I get another $500, and for a 2nd year, another $500. Its alot I know, but it has to be to really motivate me. I thought about doing it forhalf that amount, but to be honest it wouldnt really be enough to work up the hardcore motivation i need. Still its not really enough. Which is really sad, saying something about how poor my willpower is. If it was like $20, 000, that would be enough to get me REALLY going lol. But hey, I want to loose the weight anyways, I just need an external source to help motivate me to do everything im doing right, and kick it up a notch. I feel like im at my max, but I know Im not, thats why a reward is important.
At this point tho, finding time to exercise that much .. I dunno how im going to do it. I do nothing and yet have no time.
Oh. That reminded me of somehting I did. Lol.
I went to a Solar Power Panel yesterday in Alamosa. There were a bunch of people talking about how the SLV is looking to be developed for solar power in the coming years. basically the grid needs to be rebuilt as a smart grid first, and then the building of solar plants. One of the solar technologies uses water, which concerns everyone due to our water issues, and the other is just plain solar panels. The only better thing about the water method is that its easier to store the energy. Thats a big drawback of solar right now, on a commercial level, is the lack of adequate storage technology. Homeowners use batteries, which in itself is not a great technology, it requires regular maintenance and is expensive and you need alot of them. The SLV is the prime spot for international solar developers.. theres about 5 spots in the US that would be good, but ours is the best because of lots of open land without buildings or obstructions, rural area, high altitude, and 300+ days of sun a year.
I was amazed to see a map showing how much land area is needed to supply coal plants .. both the plants themselves and also mining for coal, it took up a good 1/3 of our country. While a solar plant .. One 60 square mile plant could supply the entire US!!!
It all makes me feel less guilty about bring electricity to our property. We want to be on full solar eventually but that may take a few years, top priority is to get the house built first lol.
but Excel (our power company) owns several solar plants and is almost 50% sustainable energy now. Plus they offer incentives for people adding solar to their homes. Its not bad :D
New idea - instead of building a barn or meditation hut out of strawbale this summer for practice for the house, we should do a well house. Not entirely sure why they are needed, but its a common practice, so it must be important. Either way, it would protect our well pump from the elements, probably keep it from freezing (i head that just with 1 light bulb, you can give enough heat in a well house to prevent it from freezing all winter). Also could hook the electricity up to it while we build our house, so it would be close by and easy to hook over to the main house later.
Emotionally Ive been better. My main thing is still with the boy. I know theres another girl he likes alot. And thats fine, we are just friends. But he tells me like how beautiful she is and shit and that makes me jealous. I feel like hes kinda playing games with me, he told me that if he didnt find anyone else he would marry me, but then the next day he said he actually couldnt do that because he already promised that to someone else. Whats weird is before he said that, I really didnt have expectations about us being together again, I knew it was over and I was just glad to be close friends with him again. But since he said that, and then took it away, I felt really hurt and angry. And definately jealous.
And then he told me he was sending pics to the girl he likes. I asked him to send them to me too. Normally he would have laughed and done just that. But he suddenly got really angry and said he didnt want to fight with me and then left. I didnt know how to react to that. I felt excluded and hurt.
He called me a few hours later tho and apologized, but it was awkward, immediately after he apologized he started talking about the girl he likes. I dunno. I feel like he is trying to make me jealous.
But more likely, he is just confused on his emotions, and wants to share his excitement for this girl with me cuz im his friend and probably the only one he can talk to about it.
Sadly I dont know if I can really handle it. I want to be here for him and have him be able to talk about ANYTHING with me, but that cant be if I get upset when he says certain things. It doesnt work like that. I have a spying problem, and I log on wow several times a day on a trial account to see what hes up to. And hes almost always with her. And it drives me crazy. I need to stop spying so I dont think about it so much.
I dunno why im so worried. hes quite a bit younger than me. and yeah, hes my ideal guy in personality. but he still needs time to play around with other girls, and I know if i stay cool and steady and loving, in the end im whats going to be the one thats stuck by him for years. course he could find someone else and i have to accept that. at the very least we can be lifelong friends. at the most, he will come back to me because we do love each other (hes told me he does, but its like we are already family not a romantic love) and ive always been there for him. if i can just relax, let him do his thing, but still be a good friend to him, in 5 years we very well could be married.
Another reason to loose weight!! Even if its not with him, I increase my chances of finding someone 100x just by getting in shape. I have a hard enough time meeting people as it is. And no one is interested in a fat chick right off the bat. In that case you have to fall in love with their personality, and im so weird that i take someone very unique, and .. well.. narrows my chances alot. but if im healthy and in shape, then ill get alot more options to choose from without having to be as socially involved hehe :P
Sunday, January 11, 2009
What Ive done and What to Do
1/4 still asleep, the sunrise tickling my irises, when i have no qualms about looking directly into the sun.
Trying to remember what Ive done this week. Um.
Beat Fallout 3. Its no where near finished tho, theres still about 10 more quests I can unlock but i just got tired of it. A 100+ hour gameplay game is awesome, but exhausting. I just wanted it done already.
Oh well, leaves some interesting things to do if I ever replay it.
Finger is pretty much healed.
Started logging everything I eat and how much I exercise each day at www.prevention.com/healthtracker
I think it will help alot, tho I have a number of suggestions for the tool to make it better that I emailed to them. Such as, they have graphs to show your balance of foods, but it only includes carbs, protein, fat, and alcohol. Wheres the fruits and veggies? Stuff like that irks me, but otherwise it will be useful if i keep it up. Yesterday I even noticed myself looking at it saying "ok so Ive already ate 1100 calories .. technically I can have 1000 more. I really crave pizza.... (I then went and ordered one with dominoes to go pick up in alamosa in an hour, thankfully I didnt pay with my credit card because after realizing how many calories and stuff pizza has, I decided against it and never showed up to pick it up.) It just wasnt worth the taste for the health cost. Im still craving a nice fat greasy slice of brooklyn style tho. So I might still get it sometime soon, but it will be a small pizza and ill have to freeze all but a couple slices and divvy it out over a few days or weeks.
Setup PlayOn, a service which runs on your computer and broadcasts to your xbox, ps3, and any tvs that can recieve the signal. It lets you watch youtube, CNN, CBS, Hulu (which has most of any TV show you could want to watch), etc. Its pretty neat. Even tho I can watch all that stuff on my computer anyways, it seems more interesting and more fun on there. Its free for 2 weeks then there is a one time $30 fee to use it forever. Im not sure if Ill go for it. I want to, but I certainly dont need it. And Ive got to save money.
I went to the BARC meeting (antoinito Beautification and Restoration Committee), and once I was able to sneak a word in, everyone got really psyched about my ideas. I suggested local and recycled materials, like pulling tires out of the river which cleans up the environment, and then using them as planters to put native shrubs in around the plaza, with little signs saying their traditional native american and hispanic medicinal uses, etc. Doing things like that will help reduce the cost significantly, be easier to find a grant for (they love the sustainable stuff), be unique and creative, environmentally friendly, promote the local culture, etc.
Wow the whole room exploded in excitement with that idea. I felt good, important.
I also volunteered to show up to all the county comissioners and town hall meetings, and take notes to share with the group on a brief rundown on whats going on.'
Roshi and Pazu are driving me nuts. They are doing great, roshi still needs worm medication and a bath tho but otherwise is happy and healthy. Hes stolen Pazu's spot on the bed, so I have to make sure to give Pazu lots of individual attention. They chase each other and play fight most of the day .. and night. Ive got to lock them out of my room now at night because it just keeps waking me up.
I think thats about all I did this week. It sounds like more than it is. I have no idea where 3 days went or if I even did anything at all.
In general my mood is stable. Im not depressed, pretty happy overall. Slightly sick, but thats winter.
Things to do before Eric gets back in 6 weeks:
1. Fill out and drop off the electricity application
2. Build a owl box, a hawk box, and a bat box
3. Finish or at least make 6 inches progress on my first knitting attempt
4. Loose 10 lbs.
5. Save up $500
6. get the road to the land plowed, bring down the compost, finish the insulation in the greenhouse
7. eat out at at least 2 restaurants that I wont get a chance to go to when Eric is here (basically anything besides fast food and the brewery)
8. Finish at least 1 metal gear solid game
9. Spend a day in bed or by the fire reading
10. Develop healthy habits to keep when he comes back - spend 10 mins a day cleaning up the house, go outside (in the sun) for 15+ mins a day, blog each week, meditate weekly, exercise daily, eat simply and healthfully, save a little money from each paycheck, RELAX
Trying to remember what Ive done this week. Um.
Beat Fallout 3. Its no where near finished tho, theres still about 10 more quests I can unlock but i just got tired of it. A 100+ hour gameplay game is awesome, but exhausting. I just wanted it done already.
Oh well, leaves some interesting things to do if I ever replay it.
Finger is pretty much healed.
Started logging everything I eat and how much I exercise each day at www.prevention.com/healthtracker
I think it will help alot, tho I have a number of suggestions for the tool to make it better that I emailed to them. Such as, they have graphs to show your balance of foods, but it only includes carbs, protein, fat, and alcohol. Wheres the fruits and veggies? Stuff like that irks me, but otherwise it will be useful if i keep it up. Yesterday I even noticed myself looking at it saying "ok so Ive already ate 1100 calories .. technically I can have 1000 more. I really crave pizza.... (I then went and ordered one with dominoes to go pick up in alamosa in an hour, thankfully I didnt pay with my credit card because after realizing how many calories and stuff pizza has, I decided against it and never showed up to pick it up.) It just wasnt worth the taste for the health cost. Im still craving a nice fat greasy slice of brooklyn style tho. So I might still get it sometime soon, but it will be a small pizza and ill have to freeze all but a couple slices and divvy it out over a few days or weeks.
Setup PlayOn, a service which runs on your computer and broadcasts to your xbox, ps3, and any tvs that can recieve the signal. It lets you watch youtube, CNN, CBS, Hulu (which has most of any TV show you could want to watch), etc. Its pretty neat. Even tho I can watch all that stuff on my computer anyways, it seems more interesting and more fun on there. Its free for 2 weeks then there is a one time $30 fee to use it forever. Im not sure if Ill go for it. I want to, but I certainly dont need it. And Ive got to save money.
I went to the BARC meeting (antoinito Beautification and Restoration Committee), and once I was able to sneak a word in, everyone got really psyched about my ideas. I suggested local and recycled materials, like pulling tires out of the river which cleans up the environment, and then using them as planters to put native shrubs in around the plaza, with little signs saying their traditional native american and hispanic medicinal uses, etc. Doing things like that will help reduce the cost significantly, be easier to find a grant for (they love the sustainable stuff), be unique and creative, environmentally friendly, promote the local culture, etc.
Wow the whole room exploded in excitement with that idea. I felt good, important.
I also volunteered to show up to all the county comissioners and town hall meetings, and take notes to share with the group on a brief rundown on whats going on.'
Roshi and Pazu are driving me nuts. They are doing great, roshi still needs worm medication and a bath tho but otherwise is happy and healthy. Hes stolen Pazu's spot on the bed, so I have to make sure to give Pazu lots of individual attention. They chase each other and play fight most of the day .. and night. Ive got to lock them out of my room now at night because it just keeps waking me up.
I think thats about all I did this week. It sounds like more than it is. I have no idea where 3 days went or if I even did anything at all.
In general my mood is stable. Im not depressed, pretty happy overall. Slightly sick, but thats winter.
Things to do before Eric gets back in 6 weeks:
1. Fill out and drop off the electricity application
2. Build a owl box, a hawk box, and a bat box
3. Finish or at least make 6 inches progress on my first knitting attempt
4. Loose 10 lbs.
5. Save up $500
6. get the road to the land plowed, bring down the compost, finish the insulation in the greenhouse
7. eat out at at least 2 restaurants that I wont get a chance to go to when Eric is here (basically anything besides fast food and the brewery)
8. Finish at least 1 metal gear solid game
9. Spend a day in bed or by the fire reading
10. Develop healthy habits to keep when he comes back - spend 10 mins a day cleaning up the house, go outside (in the sun) for 15+ mins a day, blog each week, meditate weekly, exercise daily, eat simply and healthfully, save a little money from each paycheck, RELAX
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Pinky and the Roshi
I feel quite unproductive. I need to exercise, clean the house, build those damn bat houses and owl boxes ive been meaning to.
But I think I just need to rest right now, its okay.
I just worry that the days are starting to mesh together, run on by without any meaning. And then suddenly Eric (my brother) will be back from NY, and Ill be all pissed off because I didnt get enough alone time. Well, its only not enough alone time if I dont make the most of it. True, Im really happy being alone and would prefer it stay this way evermore, but, reality is that isnt going to happen.
Ive done a number of things tho the past couple of days that are somewhat interesting, despite my unproductiveness.
- Set up my webcam at the window, and set it to take a snapshot every 20 minutes. At the end of the day, Ill stick them all todether in a slideshow for a time-lapse movie of the day. The effects wont be REALLY cool until I mesh together time lapses from each day in a month long or year-long movie.
- Nursing my hacked pinky. I chopped off the tip, about a 1/4 inch, not huge enough to go to the hospital, but not a tiny cut either. Im definately missing a chunk. Happened last night while peeling a papaya for an amazing dip I managed to complete even with the gimp pinky. (Basically - cooked sweet potatoes, papaya, chopped onions and bell peppers, black beans, a little vinegar and lime, chili powder, and garlic, served with tortilla chips - zomg its gooder than it sounds! really! better than salsa!)
As for the pinky, well, it was gushing needless to say. haha, great, I know, talk about a chopped pinky right after a recipe, mmmm. Lots of blood. I wrapped it with like 20 bandaids. That was a terrible idea. The inside ones didnt stick at all cuz of all the blood. And this morning it was half falling off so i decided to try and pull it off and try another tactic .. BAD idea. It hurt SO bad to take them off. Im glad i finally did tho, because it is much more comfortable to have a wab of cotton coated in neosporin, and then wrapped with tape. Bandaids suck. really.
- OH! YEAH!! I havent told you yet about this. On Christmas day, I was about to go up to volunteer for the free dinner thing, when my cat pazu starts buggin out by the window. I look out to see what hes lookin at, but all i see is his reflection. .. .. Wait, what? Double take, its another cat sitting on the windowsill!!! It looks alot like Pazu. It has lots of porcupine quills in its face, and its looking at me and meowing. I run outside, but as soon as it sees me it takes off running. I put on my brand new xmas-present-from-dad snowshoes, and track it through the woods. I actually was quite proud of my tracking skills. I mean i havent been trained or anything, and it took a while of me going back and forth figuring it out, but I did! At first I was following the cat, but every time it saw me, even if I was 500 ft away, it kept running. I didnt want to keep driving it further and further away in its condition, so I started hunting around for where it was sleeping. Sure enough, I found it, a small depression in the snow, melted down to the leaves, with some cat scat buried around near it. So I left a towel and some food.
I called my brother and my mom to ask if they had any ideas. My brother really made me angry, he just said "let it die." Now, first of all, hes trying to preach back to me my own philosophy that ive preached to him previously. nature is nature, and sometimes its cruel. Nothing you can do about it. If it died, I wasnt going to get all worked up about it.
However, in practice that is selfish, lazy, and cruel. To NOT do anything when you have the power to help another being is not just nature being nature.
I got really upset by his comment, but it didnt deter me.
The next day the food was gone, so I left more. The day after, I saw the cat again running around the house, and as soon as it saw me, again it ran away. I didnt follow this time but instead left food outside the house and piled towels inside the broken cold frame. That night was a terrible storm, lots of driving snow, very very cold, strong wind from the south. I was really worried about the cat.
But the next afternoon, the food outside the house was gone, and I could see cat tracks in the snow so I know it wasnt a racoon or something.
I left food out for it one more day while I ran up to town and got a live animal trap. It took some tweaking to get it to set right. I used Pazu as a test cat, put some tuna in the back and he went right on in. Im glad I did that because it helped me to make fine adjustments to the sensitivity of the trap, and also see where I needed to put the food to get it to trigger correctly.
Pazu was startled when it finally closed on him, but remarkably calm. I took him out and pet him, and then went about getting more food to set it up for the stray cat. When I came back, pazu was right back in the cage, finishing off the last bits of tuna. LOL.
I set the trap outside, with a towel underneath it to make it easier on the cats feet and not so cold to step on. 5 hours later on my break from work, he was in it!
I brought the trap inside and closed him off from the other cats. He meowed alot. I put a chopstick through the holes of the cage and he rubbed against it, he seemed very needy to be pet. I poured a mixture of 1 part milk and 4 parts water into the dish in the cage, which he drank right up ravenously, and I gave him more as well as some dry cat food. The way he ate seemed very aggressive and desperate. I dont blame him, who knows how long he had been starving. But his mannerisms seemed very feral, however his response the chopstick let me know that he must have been socialized to humans at a young age.
Without thinking about it, the name "Roshi" just slipped out of my mouth. His ears perked and he rubbed against the side of the cage, so I guess thats his name. It turns out it was a good name because its non-gender specific (even tho he looked like a male, I couldnt tell for sure at the time), and also because hes a samurai cat with 12 swords in his face!
My friend Whitney who runs C.R.O.W. for Cats paid for a visit to the vet, and we got the quills out, got him neutered, and vaccinated. Good deal. She also gave me food and stuff for him. Really really great. I couldnt have afforded all this without her, and Roshi is doing wonderfully.
He is very stinky, and I think he might have worms, but otherwise he has already healed up nice, and is very very sweet. Him and Pazu get along well, which is great. Pazu needs a little brother to bug and play with.
-watched the American Ballet Theater version of The Nutcracker. Wished I could be so nimble and jump so damn high. Damn.
- Made sweet sesame balls and Mochi. A chinese / japanese treat of sweet rice flour, sugar, sweet red bean paste, and sesame seeds. Im experimenting with the leftover dough to find other ways of eating it. Its not good by itself. It tastes kind of like playdough. Actually exactly like playdough. As soon as you add the red bean paste however, its delicious.
- Am drying cranberries in the oven. I Love dried cranberries with a passion, and this is the cheaper and better way to do it than buying them. I can leave out the sugar. A little honey is nice but not necessary.
For anyone who is interested :
How To Dry Cranberries in Your Oven
But I think I just need to rest right now, its okay.
I just worry that the days are starting to mesh together, run on by without any meaning. And then suddenly Eric (my brother) will be back from NY, and Ill be all pissed off because I didnt get enough alone time. Well, its only not enough alone time if I dont make the most of it. True, Im really happy being alone and would prefer it stay this way evermore, but, reality is that isnt going to happen.
Ive done a number of things tho the past couple of days that are somewhat interesting, despite my unproductiveness.
- Set up my webcam at the window, and set it to take a snapshot every 20 minutes. At the end of the day, Ill stick them all todether in a slideshow for a time-lapse movie of the day. The effects wont be REALLY cool until I mesh together time lapses from each day in a month long or year-long movie.
- Nursing my hacked pinky. I chopped off the tip, about a 1/4 inch, not huge enough to go to the hospital, but not a tiny cut either. Im definately missing a chunk. Happened last night while peeling a papaya for an amazing dip I managed to complete even with the gimp pinky. (Basically - cooked sweet potatoes, papaya, chopped onions and bell peppers, black beans, a little vinegar and lime, chili powder, and garlic, served with tortilla chips - zomg its gooder than it sounds! really! better than salsa!)
As for the pinky, well, it was gushing needless to say. haha, great, I know, talk about a chopped pinky right after a recipe, mmmm. Lots of blood. I wrapped it with like 20 bandaids. That was a terrible idea. The inside ones didnt stick at all cuz of all the blood. And this morning it was half falling off so i decided to try and pull it off and try another tactic .. BAD idea. It hurt SO bad to take them off. Im glad i finally did tho, because it is much more comfortable to have a wab of cotton coated in neosporin, and then wrapped with tape. Bandaids suck. really.
- OH! YEAH!! I havent told you yet about this. On Christmas day, I was about to go up to volunteer for the free dinner thing, when my cat pazu starts buggin out by the window. I look out to see what hes lookin at, but all i see is his reflection. .. .. Wait, what? Double take, its another cat sitting on the windowsill!!! It looks alot like Pazu. It has lots of porcupine quills in its face, and its looking at me and meowing. I run outside, but as soon as it sees me it takes off running. I put on my brand new xmas-present-from-dad snowshoes, and track it through the woods. I actually was quite proud of my tracking skills. I mean i havent been trained or anything, and it took a while of me going back and forth figuring it out, but I did! At first I was following the cat, but every time it saw me, even if I was 500 ft away, it kept running. I didnt want to keep driving it further and further away in its condition, so I started hunting around for where it was sleeping. Sure enough, I found it, a small depression in the snow, melted down to the leaves, with some cat scat buried around near it. So I left a towel and some food.
I called my brother and my mom to ask if they had any ideas. My brother really made me angry, he just said "let it die." Now, first of all, hes trying to preach back to me my own philosophy that ive preached to him previously. nature is nature, and sometimes its cruel. Nothing you can do about it. If it died, I wasnt going to get all worked up about it.
However, in practice that is selfish, lazy, and cruel. To NOT do anything when you have the power to help another being is not just nature being nature.
I got really upset by his comment, but it didnt deter me.
The next day the food was gone, so I left more. The day after, I saw the cat again running around the house, and as soon as it saw me, again it ran away. I didnt follow this time but instead left food outside the house and piled towels inside the broken cold frame. That night was a terrible storm, lots of driving snow, very very cold, strong wind from the south. I was really worried about the cat.
But the next afternoon, the food outside the house was gone, and I could see cat tracks in the snow so I know it wasnt a racoon or something.
I left food out for it one more day while I ran up to town and got a live animal trap. It took some tweaking to get it to set right. I used Pazu as a test cat, put some tuna in the back and he went right on in. Im glad I did that because it helped me to make fine adjustments to the sensitivity of the trap, and also see where I needed to put the food to get it to trigger correctly.
Pazu was startled when it finally closed on him, but remarkably calm. I took him out and pet him, and then went about getting more food to set it up for the stray cat. When I came back, pazu was right back in the cage, finishing off the last bits of tuna. LOL.
I set the trap outside, with a towel underneath it to make it easier on the cats feet and not so cold to step on. 5 hours later on my break from work, he was in it!
I brought the trap inside and closed him off from the other cats. He meowed alot. I put a chopstick through the holes of the cage and he rubbed against it, he seemed very needy to be pet. I poured a mixture of 1 part milk and 4 parts water into the dish in the cage, which he drank right up ravenously, and I gave him more as well as some dry cat food. The way he ate seemed very aggressive and desperate. I dont blame him, who knows how long he had been starving. But his mannerisms seemed very feral, however his response the chopstick let me know that he must have been socialized to humans at a young age.
Without thinking about it, the name "Roshi" just slipped out of my mouth. His ears perked and he rubbed against the side of the cage, so I guess thats his name. It turns out it was a good name because its non-gender specific (even tho he looked like a male, I couldnt tell for sure at the time), and also because hes a samurai cat with 12 swords in his face!
My friend Whitney who runs C.R.O.W. for Cats paid for a visit to the vet, and we got the quills out, got him neutered, and vaccinated. Good deal. She also gave me food and stuff for him. Really really great. I couldnt have afforded all this without her, and Roshi is doing wonderfully.
He is very stinky, and I think he might have worms, but otherwise he has already healed up nice, and is very very sweet. Him and Pazu get along well, which is great. Pazu needs a little brother to bug and play with.
-watched the American Ballet Theater version of The Nutcracker. Wished I could be so nimble and jump so damn high. Damn.
- Made sweet sesame balls and Mochi. A chinese / japanese treat of sweet rice flour, sugar, sweet red bean paste, and sesame seeds. Im experimenting with the leftover dough to find other ways of eating it. Its not good by itself. It tastes kind of like playdough. Actually exactly like playdough. As soon as you add the red bean paste however, its delicious.
- Am drying cranberries in the oven. I Love dried cranberries with a passion, and this is the cheaper and better way to do it than buying them. I can leave out the sugar. A little honey is nice but not necessary.
For anyone who is interested :
How To Dry Cranberries in Your Oven
1. Put 1-2 bags of cranberries in a pot with about a half cup of water. Put the lid on, and turn the heat on medium. Add sweetener if you like. Try OJ, a half cup of honey, or brown sugar.
2. When it starts to boil, give it a good stir. Listen for the cranberries popping. You want all the cranberries to pop. If some dont, thats ok, use your stirring spoon to smoosh them against the side of the pot until they crack open.
3. After about 10 minutes, or when it starts getting quite thick and most cranberries have popped, turn off the heat and let cool for about 10 more minutes.
4. Meanwhile, take a cookie sheet or baking tray and line it with 2 layers of paper towels, and 1 layer of Parchment Paper. Note : DO NOT USE WAX PAPER. I made this mistake the first round. They are not the same thing and wax paper is a nightmare to get the berries off of later.
5. Pour out the cranberries onto the paper covered tray and spread them out evenly. You want a pretty thin layer. If you need to, use a 2nd cookie sheet.
6. Put it in the oven on very very low. Im talking 100-200 degrees.
7. Check on it in about 3 hours. Flip over the paper towels, or put down new ones if needed. Scoop off the berries and replace the parchment paper. Put it back in the oven.
8. Check on it again in another 3 hours to see if its done. You shouldnt need to change the paper again. You will probably need a few more hours. In my dry climate, my berries are good and dried, but not brittle, still have a nice chew, at about 8 hours. I like to go about 9, but rarely keep track, just check on them every 3-4 hours and see. Remember when they cool they harden up a little more too. They should seperate somewhat as you peel them off, although mine have not gotten to be as individual as the store bought ones, a little more like small clumps of fruit leather. Whatever, I dont care, it tastes good.
I store them in a ziplock in the fridge since they dont have any preservatives. Not sure how long they last technically, but should be a while. Drying is an excellent preserving method for fruits, and the native americans did it all the time without ovens and fridges. So it should last quite a while.
2. When it starts to boil, give it a good stir. Listen for the cranberries popping. You want all the cranberries to pop. If some dont, thats ok, use your stirring spoon to smoosh them against the side of the pot until they crack open.
3. After about 10 minutes, or when it starts getting quite thick and most cranberries have popped, turn off the heat and let cool for about 10 more minutes.
4. Meanwhile, take a cookie sheet or baking tray and line it with 2 layers of paper towels, and 1 layer of Parchment Paper. Note : DO NOT USE WAX PAPER. I made this mistake the first round. They are not the same thing and wax paper is a nightmare to get the berries off of later.
5. Pour out the cranberries onto the paper covered tray and spread them out evenly. You want a pretty thin layer. If you need to, use a 2nd cookie sheet.
6. Put it in the oven on very very low. Im talking 100-200 degrees.
7. Check on it in about 3 hours. Flip over the paper towels, or put down new ones if needed. Scoop off the berries and replace the parchment paper. Put it back in the oven.
8. Check on it again in another 3 hours to see if its done. You shouldnt need to change the paper again. You will probably need a few more hours. In my dry climate, my berries are good and dried, but not brittle, still have a nice chew, at about 8 hours. I like to go about 9, but rarely keep track, just check on them every 3-4 hours and see. Remember when they cool they harden up a little more too. They should seperate somewhat as you peel them off, although mine have not gotten to be as individual as the store bought ones, a little more like small clumps of fruit leather. Whatever, I dont care, it tastes good.
I store them in a ziplock in the fridge since they dont have any preservatives. Not sure how long they last technically, but should be a while. Drying is an excellent preserving method for fruits, and the native americans did it all the time without ovens and fridges. So it should last quite a while.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
